- Create more than consume.
- Do more creation than consumption activities with people I love.
- Again, say YES to more things as long as the new ones will not affect my past commitments.
- Make decisions based on love instead of fear. With this, to always choose the path that will lead to more growth.
- Be as authentic to myself as humanly possible.
- Re-learn Spanish.
- Travel but not get into debt.
- Learn how to do my make-up properly.
- Develop a solid workout routine. Get in shape.
- Shift my career to business development/site acquisition.
- Start taking concrete steps towards an MBA.
I love it I love it I love it!
I’ve always wanted a phablet. Many people know that I really, really wanted a Galaxy Note 2. It was like my dream phone. Christian recently offered to buy me a tablet because he felt I needed it in my life. I convinced him to buy me a phablet instead 🙂 Hihi. The new Note 3 is too expensive though, so I researched on other phablets in the market. I’m not the techiest person out there, so I only had very few requirements: A really good, crisp display, LTE capable, good battery, big screen size, good camera, and decent storage. Over the course of my research I learned a lot more stuff about what I should be looking for, so the big RAM and the quad-core elements were added to my must-haves list. It’s really awesome when it’s very clear in your mind what exactly you want, because I swear the universe just presents it to you. Just like that. And this is what it presented to me when I was browsing:
We checked out the phone stores and found that most of them sell the 32gb model priced at 26k. I checked Kimstore and the unit there cost only 17.5k. Whatta difference! I found out later that it was because they were selling the 16gb model, but this doesn’t bother me much because it’s expandable to up to 64gb. With that option, I don’t see why I should shell out almost 9k more for the 32gb unit.
I researched this thing profusely. Can’t count the number of product reviews I watched on Youtube, checked the Instagram pictures of the celebrity endorsers, went to the concept store far from where I live to be able to hold it in my hands. I was switching back and forth, around and around to considering this LG, the Note 3, the Nexus, iPhone5, Samsung Mega, etc. Christian was really pro-Nexus but he was quite supportive of me getting the LG. He says he doesn’t believe in buying top-of-the-line, expensive phones because you never really get to use all their features anyway. He saw that specs of LG and he assumed it was top-dollar. When we saw the price on Kimstore compared to retail outlets, he urged me to get it. It’s really value for money and I concluded I should get something cheaper since I’ve never really had a phablet before. I don’t want to buy a super expensive Note 3 and find that a phablet doesn’t fit my lifestyle.
So I got it! We were supposed to get it together from Kimstore but I was late. So C did all the testing and purchasing. When I saw it, I knew I made the right choice. The display is just so pretty and crisp and clear. The phone itself is super fast and snappy. There are a lot of techies online complaining about the sound quality of the speakers, the outdated OS, and the fact that it heats up a bit on heavy use. But those are just very minor things for me. I’m glad to find that I’m totally ok with the sound. I also don’t mind that it’s still Android 4.1.2. I don’t really see the benefit of a current OS, but that’s just me. The screen size is also perfect. I don’t think I can go back to a smaller sized phone after this one. Really no complaints. Usually after a big purchase I have some sort of remorse (like that iPad which I sold the next day), but none for this at all. Maybe it helps that I didn’t pay for it. Haha. I wish it had a stylus though. Oh well. I can’t wait to see what the LG Optimus G2 Pro will look like! I bet it’s gonna be purrfect. But I’m not gonna buy that of course. I’ll try to stick with this one for at least 2 years.
“The more you do, the more you CAN do”
So says Lucille Ball, a woman of no significance to me but for some reason came up with awesome, relatable quotes during her lifetime.
I feel like I’ve been trying to do a lot. Two weeks ago, I staffed for a 5-day camp for 12-14 year olds. The responsibility in itself didn’t end there, there were people, meetings, and forms to take care of even after camp. Which made it difficult because I went back to work the same day I came back from camp. So yeah, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t been that good at my post-camp duties.
And there are so many other things coming up – the country was hit by a typhoon last week and I want to volunteer as well in the relief efforts (I might this Sunday). My extended family on my father’s side is also having this big reunion at the end of the month and I’m helping out in the preparations. My mom is celebrating her 60th and I haven’t thought of anything yet. I’m also planning an outing with some colleagues early December, flying to Coron for Dianne and Cai’s wedding in December (haven’t booked the flight yet). And then there’s Christmas shopping and possibly the HK trip in February. But the airline suspended their HK flights as of the moment so I don’t really know if that’s pushing through.
In addition to these, I’m trying almost desperately to work on self projects – I’ve restarted the 30-day-shred because I want to be more fit, I’m trying to revamp my resume and jumpstart my Linkedin plan, I want to write more or at least not be a negligent blogger, and I just need to maximize my health card ASAP.
Just reading what I wrote tires me down. I have another set of To-Do list with Christian as well, which involves some of the things we want to do and others I’m helping him out in. My full-time job takes up a large chunk of my day, and then I have my part-time job which gives me negligible income. Haha. I also spend time with Christian, but the time we spend together are usually an hour or two here or there that we manage to squeeze in between work. The thing that suffers, because something’s always gonna give, is my relationship with my family and my friends. But on the other hand, I feel like I’ve spent most of my teenage years and early 20s just being a (pretty good) daughter and friend. And I deserve this time to explore other parts of myself, no matter how seemingly selfish that is. I guess I like the fact that I’m doing a lot of things now, even if my default state is to lounge around. I like conquering my little fears, getting to know myself more and what makes me tick, and of course, meeting more people. I think I’d be even more productive if I can only give up Facebook. I can’t believe I still find the time for it, really. It’s such a huge time sucker!
So there. Yet another pointless post on my desire for productivity. I wish I were more like my Japanese student who said “I’m very disciplined. I don’t have distractions.” Hah.
The powershift, the toothpaste cap, the issue with friends, the bipolarity in general of the beginning and the end.
Christian and I had our 3rd big fight/breakup a couple of weeks ago, just a week after my birthday. And during that no-talking period I was just dumbfounded at how ugly things have become. I couldn’t reconcile in my brain how the sweetest guy I’ve encountered in my life can also be that cold and hurtful. On his part, he also looked at me during my cray-cray moment and decided he couldn’t possibly continue having a relationship with me.
It was painful. It made me realize that cigarettes are yummy and I can survive on one meal a day. I believe I also disturbed a lot of people by talking about it non-stop. Haha. But I have the most amazing and patient friends ever.
Anyway, we’re past that now. We talked about it and we almost gave up but we decided that we’re worth another try. It’s been two weeks and we’re still trying to get used to changing the things that we agreed have to change. We’re both aware that we’re past the heavenly one year mark. There’s a lot of love still, but we are now at that stage where major personality adjustments have to be made.
Most of all, I think, we’re really making an effort to be kinder to each other. We’ve always been really, but the kindness required now is deeper in a sense that we really have to accept each other’s bad traits and deal with them in the kindest way possible. It requires more love and more acceptance.
“The second year’s a bitch. After this, we’re just gonna be one of those boring couples.” – Christian
I can’t wait to get to the boring part with him. Right now we’re learning. To how to better understand the other, how to move around the other during sensitive situations. And I think, no matter what happens, we’re never going to allow things to get THAT ugly again. Kindness and understanding are really so vital in this relationship.
When commuting, I usually think of a gazillion things to post on here. Thoughts that range from deep to mundane and I think I’d have a very interesting blog if I actually wrote about all of them. But I don’t, so I’ll stick with the usual life updates:
- Since the last time I wrote here, I’ve gone to Pangasinan a second time, gone on a Batangas weekend getaway and visited Boracay.
- I’m now a regular employee at my job. So yay to having a healthcard! And my mom also gets one.
- I’ve grown closer to my colleagues, well, mostly just my batchmates. I didn’t really expect to be close to anyone at work so this came as a pleasant surprise.
- Christian and I have ‘broken-up’ twice since our one-year anniversary. Surpassing that mark brought about additional pressure. There were two huge fights and I thought they would be the end of us, but both fights were resolved in three days (although it felt a lot longer). We really can’t stand not talking to each other for long.
- I’ve applied for a part-time home-based tutoring job and I think I’ll go for it.
- I booked a flight to HK in February and Coron in June 2014. Both with Christian 🙂 We also got a free round trip domestic flight from Cebu Pac so we’re using that to attend Dianne’s Coron wedding this December.
- As much as I want to do well in my job now, I now know for a solid fact that I can’t really build a career in advertising. I guess I’ve known this since 2009.
- As days go by, I’m becoming more and more convinced that I want to build a career in business development and site acquisition. This is the only career option that genuinely excites me.
- Sad news: I’ve made no progress in Spanish and I haven’t moved much on my GS project for kids 😦
- I might volunteer for foreign camp.
- My dad is now retired. I love my parents but I feel that I need to move out. Real soon.
- My vision board is pretty much empty. But listening to my gut, the things I genuinely want seem to be getting clearer and clearer to me each day. This must be an advantage of being in your late 20s.
- I’m turning 28 next Saturday. Shamelessness and authenticity continue to be my goals.
I went out of Manila three times – to visit Christian’s family in Pangasinan, to attend my aunt’s funeral in Bicol, and to celebrate Christian’s birthday in White Beach, Puerto Galera. All of these trips were very short, with my travel time being just as long as my stay. Pangasinan was amusing, Bicol was awkward (family issues galore), Galera was bliss.
It’s one of those seemingly mundane situations which I recognized to be a metaphor for many other things. I was driving in the parking lot of a department store and I knew it was a busy day. It was a weekend, and there were a lot of cars there. I’m used to this so I set out for the area that’s quite far from the store’s entrance door, an area that’s obviously not popular with other drivers. I was quite focused on looking far out into that area when something in the periphery caught my eye – an empty slot on my left side, very near the mall entrance. But by the time I noticed this, my car has already gone halfway past the slot. Backing up wasn’t possible, as there was another car behind me.
So there. If I expected that I would find a car near the entrance, I would have not looked so far out immediately. I would have gone slowly, checked my right and left, and I would have seen that space. I would have been able to maneuver my car properly to fit in it. But I didn’t get to do all that because I didn’t anticipate good luck. I was so used to getting the non-prime slots, I didn’t even bother to check if the prime ones were still available. It’s as if I’ve conditioned myself to settle for the ones I’ve always gotten.
It scares me to even consider the other areas of my life that this is applicable to.
Christian and I are flying to Boracay! Well, not this summer, but in September! We scored really cheap tickets care of Cebu Pacific’s sale. The only catch is we have to fly from Kalibo instead of Caticlan on our way back to Manila. But for only Php2,600++ (roundtrip tickers for both of us), I definitely don’t mind. Wanted to fly there on my birthday (turning 28 on September 28!) but Christian’s job doesn’t allow him to take leaves on month-ends. I’m quite determined to do something special on that day, though. Maybe fly to Coron or something. Anyhoo, I’m excited. I haven’t been to Bora since 2010! Also, I’ve never been lucky in scoring cheap airline tickets. The sucky part is, I just found out that Jana’s flying out there as well a day after Christian and I are going back to Manila. Would have been fun to be there at the same time.
I want to have a travel-heavy 2013. This is gonna be a challenge seeing as I also want to totally eliminate debt. Right now, the two trips I have planned are both with Christian. We’re also going to Pangasinan from May 13-15, because he wants to be there for his hometown’s fiesta. I’m hoping to have different travels with my blockmates, high school friends, family, and by my lonesome. Not sure if I can do/afford all those this year, though.
- “You know you’re pretty, right? You are, very. Stop underselling yourself.”
- “If, for example, we’ve been together for 10 years and I don’t ask you to marry me, then just break up with me. I don’t understand couples who’ve been together for more than 10 years and who haven’t done it yet. Because if it doesn’t happen then, that’s it, it only means it’s never going to happen.”
- On his workplace: “If you work there, you’re gonna be the prettiest one there. Like I’m sure you are in your office.”
- On my parents: “They can’t possibly think you’re single. It would be too strange for them to think that. They would have to assume you’re a lesbian. Babe, you’re pretty, impossible na wala pa.”
- When I told him that eyebags are caused more by genetics than sleeping habits: “Ok, that means I’d have to try not to get eyebags then.”
- And the sweetest: “That’s why we can’t ever be ‘just friends’. I’d want to bone you.”
I’m quite disappointed in myself (and gosh, why do I always find myself writing a blog entry when I am. It becomes the opposite of a grateful journal.) The third month has just ended and I haven’t really done well on my list of projects I wanted to achieve this year. Today is the deadline of a contest I’ve known for months I wanted to participate in. A contest that given enough time of conceptualization and preparation, I know in my heart I can win. And the thing is, if i feel something ‘in my heart’, well yeah, it usually turns into reality. I could have prepared. I had enough time. But a couple of weeks before the deadline, I took in a freelance writing job. I wish I can say that I focused my energy into this job but I didn’t, really. I spent too much time on social media sites and the thought of the contest distracted me as well.
To make the long story short, I lost the freelance project because they didn’t feel like I have enough time for it, I missed out on the contest because the little time I had to prepare for it was spent mindlessly surfing the net, I spent minimal time with Christian last week without really achieving anything productive, and I’ve been quite mediocre at work. I don’t believe in spreading yourself out too thin. I believe in doing only a handful of things but doing really, madly well in them. Also, you can’t imagine the immense time you have when you stop spending too much time on social media. Maybe it’s ok if it’s to get some writing done, or if I get to produce something. But I rarely do anyway. I mostly browse through people’s profiles and compare myself with them (yet another thing I should stop doing). I’ve done this on my old blog, but it begs to be rewritten – Priorities for 2013:
- Be good in my job. Whether I stay or go.
- Spanish. For continuity purposes.
- Eliminate debt. Build savings.
- Travel. To participate in things that will allow me to travel.
- Family and friends time.
- Read books again. Doesn’t have to be many.
- Write again.
- Start that goal-setting for kids activity.
- Photoshop. Because I have a MacBook and I can.
- Limit social media browsing, social media sharing/contribution is ok.
- Master the art of only taking on what you know you can handle.
I want to eliminate instances where I give up what I want to do at a particular moment because I have to do something which I could have done earlier but didn’t because of bad time management. And yes, social media is usually the culprit. I want to stop being disappointed in myself. I want to think of little projects and then be able to execute them, not list them off to some undefined time in the future. I’m afraid I’m getting too used to doing and achieving nothing. To lying around. Sometimes I’m concerned that Christian doesn’t really inspire me in this department. We have pretty much the same problem, but I’m not sure if it bothers him that much. This is where “Don’t prioritize your schedule, but schedule your priorities” should come in. TO DO Lists. They must be written every single day and followed down to a tee. Impeccably so.